Chapter 30
Elliot
Am I cynical? Yes. But scared? Not at all.
I'll prove it to Mira. I'm willing to risk rejection if that's the only way to prove I don't need to hide behind a mask. The man I was with her is the same man I am today, and I'll make sure she has no reason to doubt me. She's the first person I've lowered some of my walls for. Even my brothers don't know me the way she does. I can't give up.
Tonight's meeting went nothing like I planned. Mira's reaction was far from ideal. Maybe I was too optimistic to expect her to forgive me simply because she understood my reasons. Then again, I never had the chance to explain my past and why I was suspicious of her in the beginning. Honestly, I still wonder whether exposing myself is worth it when there's a chance she won't forgive me…
I need to pull myself together and decide on a course of action. Instead of working late tonight, I go home to exercise, shower, and eat a quick dinner. It's a quarter past midnight when I lie down in bed.
I check my emails on my phone. My evening ritual feels emptier than usual. I'd grown accustomed to Mira's endless messages and our late-night conversations about every subject imaginable.
After setting my phone on the nightstand, I turn on the news, hoping it will bore me enough to put me to sleep.
My phone suddenly vibrates, making my heart beat faster. Does Mira regret what she said earlier?
A heavy weight settles on my chest when I read my older brother's message.
Adrian: Dad got a letter too. It's official.
Nico responds with a string of curses.
Damn it… I suspected he'd received one, so the news doesn't surprise me as much as it should. What I'm curious about is the letter's contents, because my father and grandfather have had a strained relationship since my mother died. Dad only served as CEO after Grandpa's accident because, according to the will, Adrian was still too young.
Me: Did you find out what it said?
Adrian: Nothing to report yet. We should watch for anything outside his normal routine.
Nico: You want the short list or the long one?
Adrian: Have you spoken to him?
Nico: He called me last week.
Me: What did he want?
Nico: He asked if I needed help. Me, needing help!
Nico: I wonder who I should thank for that awkward conversation. Jack Daniel's?
Adrian: I warned you what would happen if you went off the rails again.
Oh no, not this again. Adrian already forced Nico into rehab when he was in college. It was the last straw for their already fragile relationship. Our older brother may have done it out of love, but Nico has never managed to get past it.
Me: Did he ask about your letter?
Maybe our father chose to torment Nico because he thought Nico would give him the best answers. He has always had a better relationship with him than with Adrian or me.
Nico: No. I don't think he knows about ours.
Adrian: Good. Let's keep it that way.
Fine. One less obstacle. Thinking about returning to Chicago usually eases my discomfort, but tonight it only makes my stomach ache worse. For the first time, it doesn't feel like an easy choice, and I'm not sure how I feel about that.
My first idea for getting Mira's attention is to exploit her love of good food. The strategy has worked before, so I might as well put my theory to the test again.
I find Mira exactly where I want her: sitting at her desk with no coworkers in sight. She stares at her screen before typing words into a blank document.
"I brought you dinner as an apology."
I drop the paper bag onto her desk. Without taking her eyes off the computer, she pushes it away.
"No, thank you."
Mira keeps typing. I grit my teeth in frustration. I don't know how to make her listen when she refuses even to look at me. A meal should have worked on her, especially if she's hungry. Apparently not.
"What about cupcakes I made myself? Lena gave me the recipe."
I pull the plastic container from the bag and set it closer to her.
Okay, fine: Lena made them under my supervision, but still.
"Do you want to discuss something work-related?" she asks coldly.
"No," I answer with a scowl.
"Then leave. I don't want to talk to you."
Shit. I'm discovering a new side of Mira. I think this is worse than her reaction to my stupid comment about her mentorship program.
"At least give me one chance to explain. I didn't handle things the way I should have, but I had a good reason."
"There is no reason good enough."
Mira stands, takes the bag, and thrusts it into my arms. Then she places the cupcake container on top of the Chinese food, carefully avoiding any damage to the frosting. I don't deserve that much kindness, yet she shows it anyway simply because she's a good person.
I'm a lost cause, both in my actions and the way I think.
I hate the glare she gives me. I want so badly to make her smile instead. Knowing I'm the reason for her anger makes me feel genuinely awful.
If only you'd told her everything sooner…
"Mira, I shouldn't have lied to you. Grant was a way for me to,"
"I'm going home," she cuts in without looking at me. "You should do the same."
I want to tell her that home is nothing but an empty place where I'm miserable. But I don't get the chance to add another word. She leaves me standing there like an idiot with her untouched dinner.
"Let's say someone hurt your sister. Hypothetically."
"Oh no!" Lena says, pressing a hand to her forehead.
I shift on the bench so I can see her better while we talk.
"What?"
"You're the one who hurt her, aren't you?"
"No…"
Yes. But how does she know?
"I knew something was wrong!"
Lena jumps to her feet and begins pacing.
"How?"
"She canceled our dinner, and she has to be sad or sick to miss family time."
Shit. That's the last thing I want.
"I made a mistake."
"I gathered," my young companion says, rolling her eyes.
"How do I fix it?"
"That depends. What did you do?"
Am I really going to confess my problems to Lena so I can better understand her sister?
Looks that way.
"Well, it started with a bad idea I had…"
I explain every decision I've made so far regarding her sister. The more I revisit what happened, the worse I feel. And Lena's expressions do nothing to reassure me.
"What? Say something."
"She really liked Grant," she says with a shrug. "I heard her talking about him with Elise."
I wince.
"Help me find a way to win her back and I'll owe you a favor. Anything you want."
"Anything I want? Really?"
"Yes."
"I don't know…" she says, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "If she thinks you're like Victor, she may never give you another chance."
I won't even consider that possibility.
"Okay, that makes sense. But what would you do if you were me?"
"Easy. Give her a reason to trust you. A very good reason."
Lena says it as though it's the simplest idea in the world.
Except I have no idea how to persuade someone to trust me. Until now, I've never had a reason to try.
"How? She doesn't believe a word that comes out of my mouth."
"You're smart. You'll think of something."
I glance into Mira's cubicle. If she feels me watching, she pretends she doesn't. The only sign my presence bothers her is the slight crease between her brows.
When I enter the forbidden zone and sit on the edge of her desk, she stares stubbornly at a sheet of paper. She's wearing a vintage T-shirt with bell-bottom jeans, and today's pin comes straight from the seventies: the words "flower power" surrounded by flowers. I've never seen Mira coordinate one of her pins with her outfit before. It's cute.
"We need to talk."
No response except the paper crinkling between her tense fingers. The silence stretches until it becomes distinctly uncomfortable.
"Ignoring your boss is generally considered rude."
Her jaw twitches. I glance at the document in her hands and read the title. No fucking way. I snatch it from her at once.
Mira swivels her chair and looks me straight in the eyes.
"Give it back."
"No."
"That's childish," she says, nostrils flaring with anger.
Oh, really? I've already gone too far to stop now. I tear the paper into four pieces. She stares at me as though I've lost my mind. Honestly, maybe I have, but she can't seriously be considering this alternative. There's no way I'll allow it.
"You're not resigning," I declare before dropping the resignation letter into the trash beneath her desk.
Because I'm a complete bastard, I make sure to brush against her body as I pass. Even through her pants, her sharp intake of breath tells me everything I need to know.
No matter the time, place, or circumstances, Mira is attracted to me. Nothing she says or does will convince me otherwise. I may have made a massive mistake, but I have no intention of giving her more time to think about the situation.
She crosses her arms.
"You can't force me to stay."
"Yes, I can."
"No," she says, shocked. "The situation has become too complicated."
"Then uncomplicate it."
"I can't ignore my feelings and keep living as though nothing happened."
Mira gestures between us with a slight frown.
"I never meant to hurt you."
My heart tightens at the thought.
"You lied about your identity for months! I felt guilty for being interested in two different guys while you knew who I was the entire time. That's cruel."
Her voice breaks. My entire body reacts when I see tears shining in her eyes. Her response falls completely outside my area of expertise. I have no idea how to support someone emotionally, much less when I'm the cause of her pain.
I wish I knew how to melt her wall of ice. I reach for her hand, but she rolls her chair as far away as possible.
Her rejection hits me harder than I want to admit. I hate this distance between us. We didn't spend months getting to know each other for her to walk away like this.
"Give me one chance to explain. If you're not convinced I'm sincere, I won't bother you again. I'll let you resign."
"Really?"
Her face brightens. The reaction only emboldens me: I intend to prove her wrong.
"Really."
"Fine. Okay. You get one try. That's all."
Her enthusiasm is almost insulting. When I told her I'm competitive, I meant it. She isn't running away. I only need to figure out how to make her stay.
"Perfect."
I hold out my hand, and she takes it. As always when her skin touches mine, a shiver runs through me. I stroke her delicate fingers with my thumb before releasing her. She tries to pretend she's unaffected, but fails.
"I'll see you tonight."
I can't let Mira build even higher walls between us. If I give her more time, her doubts about my intentions will only grow. I may like a challenge, but I'm not an idiot.
"Tonight?" she squeaks in surprise.
I slide my hands into my pockets to stop myself from doing something reckless, like touching her again.
"You should always discuss the terms before you agree. It's the most important rule in business."