Mira

"Gross," she says, wrinkling her nose.

I stick my tongue out at her.

My sister says goodbye to Elliot, who returns her smile. I shouldn't be jealous, but I've been deprived of his kindness since I was admitted to the hospital.

I hide my trembling hands beneath the blanket so he can't see how much he unsettles me.

"Is everything okay? Really?"

His smile doesn't reach his eyes.

"It'll be fine."

What does he mean by that? I want to hold him hostage until he gives me an honest answer.

"Are you still upset about what happened at your place?"

He clears his throat.

"No."

"Then what's wrong? Talk to me. Something happened, and if you're not honest with me, I can't fix the problem."

My voice breaks on the last words, revealing how exhausted I am. His gaze softens.

"There's nothing to fix. You need to focus on your health instead of us."

"So there is still an us?"

It's the question I've been avoiding since I woke up in the hospital.

Elliot swallows, then looks out the window.

"I… we…"

Oh my God. He's hesitating? He never does that!

"I need you to tell me what's bothering you. Now."

I come right out with it. I've had enough of his cryptic answers and half-truths. Whatever he has to tell me, I'm a big girl. I can handle it, and far worse.

"We can talk about it when you're bet,"

"Cut the crap, Elliot. What is your problem?"

"You want to know what my problem is?"

"Yes."

"You! And this whole situation!"

He throws his arms out toward me. Every muscle in my body tenses.

"What do you mean?"

"This wasn't supposed to be serious between us. We were only supposed to have fun. This relationship has nothing to do with what I want or need in my life. I have a company to run, a park to oversee, and countless other things to handle. A huge number of people depend on me, and I'm stuck here making sure you're all right because I feel responsible for what happened to you."

I flinch, wounded. Elliot continues as if he isn't taking a sledgehammer to my heart:

"I never asked to play the role of your caring boyfriend. I'm not that kind of man."

"You… you can't mean that."

We have a connection, no matter how hard he tries to deny it. Although we don't have an official label, what we share is special.

"Having sex and going out a few times was supposed to be a way to pass the time while I'm in Wondervale."

"Pass the time?"

How dare he diminish what we shared!

He closes his eyes.

"I lost sight of what matters to me."

And that isn't you. He doesn't need to say it aloud; it's written all over his face. My heart cracks further with every hurtful word that leaves his mouth.

"I never take days off, not even at Christmas. But I felt obligated because you were injured at my house. I even postponed important meetings and left a ton of paperwork unfinished because…"

"Because what?"

Say you care about me. Say you want me anyway. Say that even if you're afraid, some things in life are worth it.

Say anything, but say something!

But Elliot just stands there, staring at me with the same expression he wears during boring presentations at work. I've never felt so insignificant, not even after Victor dumped me. I truly believed Elliot and I had something precious. A connection that would last forever.

I was wrong.

A bitter laugh escapes me.

"I don't know which of us is more pathetic: you, for denying how much you care about me, or me, for being genuinely surprised by everything you just dumped on me."

The only sound filling the silence between us is the machine's beeping, matching my heart's frantic rhythm.

"The problem isn't your job. And it absolutely isn't that we're moving from a no-strings relationship to something more, which is your fault, by the way. You never stopped showing me that I mattered to you. You made me believe in a fantasy. You made me want to be in a relationship with you!"

"I always intended to keep our arrangement casual," he replies impassively. "That's what we agreed on together."

"Then you did a terrible job of it. You didn't have to play the caring boyfriend, Elliot, because you were already acting as if you were one!"

My outburst makes him step back. Breathing this hard hurts, but I continue:

"The decisions you've made until now,you made them because you care about me! Because deep down, I think you love me, even if you're too afraid to admit it."

My voice breaks and my breathing turns wheezy. My lungs struggle to cooperate.

"Falling in love was never an option for me. If I led you to believe otherwise, I apologize. I would never deliberately make you believe such a thing when I'll soon be moving back to Chicago."

Elliot might as well have slapped me.

"What?"

"Someone else will take over as director in January," he says, looking out that damned window again.

If I weren't hooked up to an oxygen tank, I'm not sure I'd be capable of breathing right now.

"You…" I stammer hoarsely. "You knew from the beginning?"

No, impossible. I'm sure he would have told me. And what about his plan for the park's anniversary? I don't understand why he'd spend months on a project of that scale for nothing.

"Yes."

"Did you ever consider staying…"

For us?

Elliot breaks my heart again by shaking his head.

"The plan was always for me to return to Chicago."

Mira, you're such a fool. He's been hiding this from you from the start. I sniff, trying to hold back the tears welling in my eyes.

"That isn't what I asked, and you know it. Stop avoiding the question and tell me the truth."

The tic in his jaw reappears.

"My personal feelings on the matter are irrelevant."

"Why are you moving back there?" I ask, staring at my trembling hands.

Why are you giving up on us? What scares you so much?

"My future is in Chicago."

It feels as though he has ripped my heart from my chest.

"That's what you say," I reply in a small voice.

My God… How could I let myself fall in love with him when deep down I knew what kind of man he was?

"I'm sorry to hurt you. This whole thing was a mistake."

A mistake. I think a knife to the chest would have been less cruel than this conversation. I'm the one who made a mistake. I hoped for too much, but above all, I believed Elliot's love for me would be enough for him to conquer his demons. The problem is, we don't live in a fairy tale. Change doesn't happen by magic because someone sprinkles fairy dust in the air and makes a wish on a shooting star.

No, real life doesn't work that way. Solving our problems takes effort, and while I made that effort, Elliot didn't. He's too frightened, too selfish, too consumed by his desire to always have more without even knowing what he's actually searching for. I thought he wanted to take things further with me, but in truth, I placed my trust in a product of my imagination.

"I'm sorry I'm causing you pain," he murmurs.

The lump in my throat steals my breath.

"And I'm sorry I believed you were better than the selfish, cruel man everyone thinks you are."

The statement makes him flinch. It's the first sign of genuine emotion he's shown today.

"I see."

A tear betrays me and rolls down my cheek. I hurry to wipe it away.

"I'll find a way to pay you back for everything because I want nothing to do with you or your money. Even if it takes me my whole life to pay for this damned room, I'll do it."

He swallows.

"I don't want,"

I cut him off before he can sink his claws any deeper into my heart.

"I'm tired."

"Yes, of course. I didn't mean to cause you distress while you're in this condition."

I don't answer.

"Would you like me to stay with you until your parents return?" he asks, indicating the chair nearest my bed.

"No. I'd rather be alone, but thank you again for everything."

My voice is cold and distant, a perfect reflection of his.

"But…"

It's childish, but I turn my back on him. I don't want to talk anymore. I don't want to break down in front of him. Tears stream down my face and form a damp patch on my pillow.

Elliot sighs again. The sound of his footsteps matches the rhythm of the heart monitor.

When his hand brushes my hair, I flinch. He presses his lips to the top of my head.

"You deserve the whole world, and so much more."

The hospital-room door closes behind him. I'm left with only the beeping machines and my painful sobs for company.