Chapter 12: The Council

She went into the main room to find Ryder standing by the window, looking at the darkening forest.

"You claimed me," she said. Not a question.

He turned to look at her, and there was no contrition in his expression. "Yes."

"Without asking."

"Yes."

"Explain."

Ryder was quiet for a moment. "In werewolf law, there are several types of claims. The deepest is the marking, the bonding bite. But there's also the protection claim, which is a public declaration that someone is under the alpha's protection. It doesn't take consent because it's not about restriction. It's about warning. It says to anyone considering you a target that attacking you means attacking the alpha."

"You used that because the council was voting to send me away."

"I used it because the council was deciding your fate without your input, and I wasn't going to let them do that. The claim means they can't order you to leave. It means they can't vote on your status without you present. It means you have a voice now."

"It also means they think you've already decided I'm yours," Lily said. "Which I'm not. I haven't chosen anything yet."

"I know," Ryder said. "The claim doesn't change that. What it does is stop them from forcing a choice before you're ready to make one."

"By making a choice for me."

"No." He took a step toward her. "By stopping them from making a choice for you. Those are different things."

"Are they?" Lily could feel anger rising in her throat. "Because it sounds to me like you just told an entire council that I'm your property. That I belong to you. How is that not the same as forcing a choice?"

"Because you're free to walk out of here tomorrow if you want to. The claim doesn't bind you. The claim doesn't control you. All it does is protect you from anyone else trying to make you leave."

"You don't get to do that," Lily said. Her voice was low and fierce. "You don't get to make decisions about my autonomy based on what you think is best for me. That's exactly what my ex did. That's exactly what my whole family did, my whole life. Everyone deciding what I should want, what was best for me, and I'm not doing that again. I'm not letting anyone, even someone I care about, treat me like I don't know my own mind."

Ryder was very still. "You care about me?"

"That's not the point right now."

"It's the only point," he said. "Whether you care about me determines everything else."

"No, what matters is that I get to make my own choices. Even if those choices are stupid. Even if those choices go against what would be best for the pack. That's my right."

"I know," Ryder said quietly. "And I violated that right because I was afraid. I was afraid that if I didn't make the decision, you'd disappear, and I'd spend the rest of my life wondering if you would have chosen me if I'd just let you have the space to decide."

Lily's anger didn't deflate, but it shifted, became something more complicated. "You were afraid?"

"Terrified," Ryder said. "Three years of waiting. Watching you from a distance. Feeling the bond pull me toward you, and knowing I couldn't act on it because you weren't free. And then you were free, and I was still waiting, still giving you space, still being patient. And then the council decided to vote you out, and everything in me said no. No to waiting anymore. No to letting anyone else make decisions about you. So I made one without you. Which was wrong."

"Yes," Lily said. "It was wrong."

"And I'll undo it if you want me to. I'll go back to the council and revoke the claim. You'll be free to leave or stay purely on the merit of your permit and your own choice. But you need to know that I would rather make a thousand wrong decisions to keep you here than make the right decision and lose you."

Lily looked at him, at the amber eyes that were trying so hard to control the wolf underneath, at the man who was standing in front of her saying that he was afraid in a way that made her understand something about vulnerability and strength that she'd never quite grasped before.

"I'm not going to ask you to undo it," she said. "But I'm going to need you to never do that again without talking to me first."

"Okay."

"I mean it. Even if it's scary. Even if you think I'll make the wrong choice. You talk to me first. You respect that I'm capable of making my own decisions, even if I make decisions you don't like."

"Okay," Ryder said. "I will."

"And I want to meet with the council. I want them to know that the claim doesn't mean I'm not making my own choices. I want to make a statement about my position."

Ryder almost smiled. "They're going to regret starting this."

"They should," Lily said. "And you should too. You can't protect me by controlling my options. The only thing you can do is trust me to make the choice that's right for me, and then be there to face whatever consequences come from it."

"That's harder than controlling," Ryder said.

"Yes. But it's the only way I'm going to be able to trust you. And if I'm going to mark myself to you, if I'm going to let you bond with me, I need to trust you absolutely. Which means you need to let me be fully myself, even when it's uncomfortable for you."

Ryder nodded. "Okay. I can do that."

Lily stood there in the main room of the pack house, looking at a man who was trying very hard to be better than his nature, and realized that she was going to let him mark her. That she'd probably decided that the moment she heard his voice break when he said he was terrified.

But she wasn't going to tell him that. Not yet. Not until they'd had proper conversations with the council, until she was absolutely certain that her choice was being made freely, until there was no shadow of doubt that she was choosing him because she wanted to, not because he'd backed her into it.

"Come on," she said. "Let's go tell Wren you need to call a full council meeting."

Ryder looked relieved and terrified in equal measure. "That's not going to go well."

"No," Lily said. "It's probably going to be a disaster. But it's necessary."

She walked past him and grabbed her phone. By tomorrow, the entire pack was going to know that Lily Cross was not someone who could be decided for, and Ryder was going to learn exactly what it meant to be bonded to someone who refused to be managed.

It was going to be difficult. It was going to be worth it.