Chapter 13: Her Voice

The council meeting happened the next evening, in the main room of the pack house, with Lily sitting at the center of a long table facing seven werewolves who looked like they very much regretted their democratic process. Ryder sat beside her, maintaining distance that was clearly costing him.

Lily had prepared notes. She had documentation of her research permit. She had projections for her publication timeline and a clear statement about her intentions regarding her role in the valley.

What she hadn't prepared for was how effective she'd be at making every council member realize that they'd just voted on the fate of someone who was more than capable of managing her own life.

"I'm not asking for permission to stay," she told them. "My permit gives me that right regardless of your recommendation. What I'm asking is for your recognition that I'm capable of making my own choices about my presence in this territory. I came here to research wolves. That hasn't changed. The only thing that's changed is that I've learned that some of the wolves are also human, and that one of them has decided I matter to him. But that personal decision doesn't change my professional capability, and it certainly doesn't change the fact that my choices are my own to make."

The unknown woman, who introduced herself as Marie, one of the senior pack members, was quiet for a long moment. Then she said, "What are you choosing to do, then? Are you planning to stay in the valley? To bond with the alpha? Or to leave?"

"I'm choosing to stay and continue my research," Lily said. "I'm choosing to spend time with Ryder and see where that leads. I'm choosing not to rush into anything, despite how much the supernatural elements of this situation might pressure me to decide quickly. And I'm choosing to be a full participant in any decisions that affect me, from this point forward."

"And the claiming?" Cas asked. His tone was still adversarial, but Lily noticed it had softened slightly. "Are you challenging that?"

"I'm not challenging it. But I want it clearly understood by everyone in this room that Ryder made that choice to protect me from you, not to control me. And if you ever try to use it as evidence that I'm under his authority rather than his protection, we're going to have a problem."

No one said anything. Wren looked like she was trying very hard not to smile.

"Okay," Marie said. "I think we're done here. The council withdraws its recommendation. You have a permit, you have the alpha's support, you're clearly capable of making your own decisions. Welcome to Ironwood territory, officially."

The meeting dispersed more quickly than expected, and within an hour, the lodge was quiet again. Lily was sitting on the back porch when Ryder found her.

"That was something," he said, and there was actual respect in his voice.

"They were trying to force you to make a decision about me," Lily said. "I wasn't going to let them."

"I know." Ryder sat down next to her, far enough away that they weren't touching but close enough that she could feel the warmth of him. "That's not why I needed to talk to you, though."

"Okay."

"I want to apologize again. Properly. I made a claim on you without your consent, and that violated everything I said I believed about you having the right to choose. I was afraid, and I let that fear make me do something I said I wouldn't do, and there's no excuse for that."

Lily looked at him. His jaw was set, and he was staring out at the forest, and his whole body was braced for rejection.

"You were terrified," she said softly.

"Yes."

"Terrified enough to do something that went against your own ethics."

"Yes."

"And you told me that you were terrified rather than hiding it or pretending it was something else."

Ryder finally looked at her. "Yes."

"Okay," Lily said. "I accept the apology. And I accept the fear. I just need you to promise me that next time you're terrified, you talk to me before you do anything about it."

"I promise."

Lily reached over and took his hand. His fingers closed around hers immediately, like that was the only thing stopping him from flying apart.

"I haven't decided yet," she said. "About the bond. About the marking. I just want to be clear about that. I'm staying in the valley. I'm going to spend time with you. But I'm not ready to make that final choice."

"How long?"

"I don't know. A while. I need to know that this isn't just proximity and wolf instinct. I need to know that I actually want this."

Ryder was quiet. Then he said, "That's fair. I can wait."

"Can you really? Or are you going to go insane?"

"Probably I'm going to go insane," Ryder admitted. "But I'll wait anyway. For you, I'll wait as long as you need."

Lily squeezed his hand. "Then let's just see what happens."